I was backstage, waiting to appear on one of the biggest talk shows around – The Mary Okeyo Show. I had all my questions. I had all my answers too. No one would ever know that the whole thing was staged. It would seem truly natural and the host would seem truthful. She would ask the questions and I would have the answers at hand. Simple. Just as planned.
At two minutes to go time, I was whisked off from the make-up chair to behind the curtains. I went front-stage as soon as I heard my cue.
“Ladies and gentlemen, it’s Liya Summers!” said Mary.
I walked calmly, majestically, waving at the audience, till I reached the cozy white chaise lounge. I sat. “Hello Mary, hello everyone!” I said, to a loud applause.
“Liya! Good to have you with us today.”
“Good to be here! Thank you for having me. I love you all!” Applause.
“So Liya, what do you think of your father running for his second term?”
PAUSE.
“I’m looking for the words, Mary, looking for the words,” I said as the audience laughed. “He’s awesome; he’s an awesome dad and I really hoped I’d get to see him more, I thought this was it, but when he asked me if it was okay for him to do so, I agreed…” Loud cheers and whoops. “…I agreed because I think he’s awesome at it, I think he does a really good job and we’d both be really happy if you’d have him once more…” Another applause. “…Mum would’ve been really happy too.” Oohs and aahs interjected here.
“She would’ve, wouldn’t she? Let’s hear it for Liya’s mum, God rest her soul!” The audience broke off into loud cheer. “I must say he’s done a commendable job, it’s hard enough being a single parent, but being a single parent and the president…he’s done it people!” More cheers erupted from the audience. “Shush people, shush,” she said lovingly to the audience, “what about a boyfriend?”
“What about a boyfriend?”
“Do you have one?”
“A boyfriend, no. But you’re so specific, it could be a girlfriend!” I could hear whistles in the audience.
“Well, do you have one?”
“I was just teasing, I’m so single, single and ready to mingle!”
“Yes you are! Girl, we must go out!”
“I know right? Hit me up and I’ll be there asap!”
“So what about Jake?”
“Who’s that?”
Mary and the audience laughed heartily. “Girl, don’t be playing! Your ex, Jake?”
I laughed. “You said it Mary, not me, but yeah, we broke up.”
“You two were so perfect together, what happened?”
“Let’s just say it didn’t work out; but that’s the beauty of endings, isn’t it? To look forward to new beginnings,”
“Yes it is!”
“Let’s talk about something important now Mary, shall we? Say, world hunger? Sanitation? Going green?” I could see the color flush from her cheeks. That wasn’t part of what we had agreed upon. “You know Mary, most people take people in the entertainment industry as airheads because all we appear to do is sit pretty and answer to all the gossip flying around when we could be using our influence to fight for causes that are dear to our hearts. Don’t you think so?”
“And what cause is dear to your heart?”
“Going green. I think it’s imperative for people to realize the effect of their carbon footprint on the earth because at the state we are in now, environmentally and climatically speaking, the earth is sick and humanity is the virus behind it.”
“OK, that’s awesome! You heard it here first people, going green is important! Let’s go to commercial now, shall we? Don’t go anywhere, we’ll be right back!” The music cued and we went off air. We both went backstage. It was here that she descended upon me. “What was that?”
“What was what?”
“That wasn’t in the script!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She came closer. I could feel her breath down my neck. “Listen girl, you’re not going to come here and ruin my show. People don’t want to hear about that boring school stuff! Their lives are boring, which is why they tune in to us, they live vicariously through us, through you, and if you better deliver the juicy stuff.”
“I told you, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said as I walked away.
At two minutes to go time, I was whisked off from the make-up chair to behind the curtains. I went front-stage as soon as I heard my cue.
“Ladies and gentlemen, it’s Liya Summers!” said Mary.
I walked calmly, majestically, waving at the audience, till I reached the cozy white chaise lounge. I sat. “Hello Mary, hello everyone!” I said, to a loud applause.
“Liya! Good to have you with us today.”
“Good to be here! Thank you for having me. I love you all!” Applause.
“So Liya, what do you think of your father running for his second term?”
PAUSE.
“I’m looking for the words, Mary, looking for the words,” I said as the audience laughed. “He’s awesome; he’s an awesome dad and I really hoped I’d get to see him more, I thought this was it, but when he asked me if it was okay for him to do so, I agreed…” Loud cheers and whoops. “…I agreed because I think he’s awesome at it, I think he does a really good job and we’d both be really happy if you’d have him once more…” Another applause. “…Mum would’ve been really happy too.” Oohs and aahs interjected here.
“She would’ve, wouldn’t she? Let’s hear it for Liya’s mum, God rest her soul!” The audience broke off into loud cheer. “I must say he’s done a commendable job, it’s hard enough being a single parent, but being a single parent and the president…he’s done it people!” More cheers erupted from the audience. “Shush people, shush,” she said lovingly to the audience, “what about a boyfriend?”
“What about a boyfriend?”
“Do you have one?”
“A boyfriend, no. But you’re so specific, it could be a girlfriend!” I could hear whistles in the audience.
“Well, do you have one?”
“I was just teasing, I’m so single, single and ready to mingle!”
“Yes you are! Girl, we must go out!”
“I know right? Hit me up and I’ll be there asap!”
“So what about Jake?”
“Who’s that?”
Mary and the audience laughed heartily. “Girl, don’t be playing! Your ex, Jake?”
I laughed. “You said it Mary, not me, but yeah, we broke up.”
“You two were so perfect together, what happened?”
“Let’s just say it didn’t work out; but that’s the beauty of endings, isn’t it? To look forward to new beginnings,”
“Yes it is!”
“Let’s talk about something important now Mary, shall we? Say, world hunger? Sanitation? Going green?” I could see the color flush from her cheeks. That wasn’t part of what we had agreed upon. “You know Mary, most people take people in the entertainment industry as airheads because all we appear to do is sit pretty and answer to all the gossip flying around when we could be using our influence to fight for causes that are dear to our hearts. Don’t you think so?”
“And what cause is dear to your heart?”
“Going green. I think it’s imperative for people to realize the effect of their carbon footprint on the earth because at the state we are in now, environmentally and climatically speaking, the earth is sick and humanity is the virus behind it.”
“OK, that’s awesome! You heard it here first people, going green is important! Let’s go to commercial now, shall we? Don’t go anywhere, we’ll be right back!” The music cued and we went off air. We both went backstage. It was here that she descended upon me. “What was that?”
“What was what?”
“That wasn’t in the script!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She came closer. I could feel her breath down my neck. “Listen girl, you’re not going to come here and ruin my show. People don’t want to hear about that boring school stuff! Their lives are boring, which is why they tune in to us, they live vicariously through us, through you, and if you better deliver the juicy stuff.”
“I told you, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said as I walked away.